Slump

This morning all I wanted to do was crawl into my parent's huge, high bed, pull the blankets up over my head and hide, safe and secure. In my mind, it was still cold enough to have the joy of snuggling under a comforter (for just that, comfort).

I've been at the bottom of that U-shaped culture shock curve the past week or so. At least once a day I have that "why am I here? this place sucks" attitude. Sometimes it lasts a split second,
other times for hours. I know it's a matter of circumstance, starting with being sick and exacerbated by traffic, travel, electronics, mail, and work woes.

Just now someone called out to me on the street (after I asked someone else about where I could buy a fried egg sandwich); I thought he wanted to tell me something about that. But, no, he wanted to shake my hand (and hold it entirely too long) and ask me my name. I was annoyed (and reminded of my father jokingly calling me back just so he could, "If I didn't call you back, think how far you would be by now.") and rather brisk with him. Fed up.

I'm trying to reserve judgements while in this low spot, but rather than wanting to stay a year or more, this week it's been "till the end of May" or "till the end of July." The latter would give me 6 months here, which is a substantial period, though not as long as I had booked in my mind. But why limit myself unnecessarily? If I have nothing to do here, well then, time to move on. (To what? that is also another reason for my current bout of quasi-depression.) I just have to remember that I have FREEDOM to decide and embrace that.

I'm gonna ride out this little storm. I predict clear skies by middle of next week.