I Know Exactly What He's Talking About
from Me Talk Pretty One Day, by David Sedaris, “The Learning Curve”
I then took to wheeling in a big color television so that we might spend an hour watching One Life to Live. This was back when Victoria Buchanan passed out at her twentieth high-school reunion and came to remembering that rather than graduating with the rest of her class, she had instead hitchhiked to New York City, where she’d coupled with a hippie and given birth to a long-lost daughter. It sounds far-fetched, but like a roast forsaken in the oven or a rescheduled dental appointment, childbirth is one of those minor details that tends to slip the minds of most soap opera characters. It’s a personality trait you’ve just got to accept.
On General Hospital or Guiding Light a similar story might come off as trite or even laughable. This, though, was One Life to Live, and no one could suddenly recall the birth of a child quite like Erika Slezak, who played both Victoria Buchanan and her alternate personality, Nicole Smith…
The students were to watch an episode and write what I referred to as a “guessay,” a brief prediction of what might take place the following day.
“Remember that this is not Port Charles or Pine Valley,” I said. “This is Llanview, Pennsylvania, and we’re talking about the Buchanan family.”
It actually wasn’t a bad little assignment. While the dialogue occasionally falters, you have to admire daytime dramas for their remarkable attention to plot. Yes, there were always the predictable kidnappings and summer love triangles, but a good show could always surprise you with something as simple as the discovery of an underground city…
I thought I’d effectively conveyed the seriousness of the assignment. I thought that in my own way I had actually taught them something, so I was angry when their papers included such predictions as “the long-lost daughter turns out to be a vampire” and “the next day Vicki chokes to death while eating a submarine sandwich,” The vampire business smacked of Dark Shadows reruns, and I refused to take it seriously. But choking to death on a sandwich, that was an insult. Victoria was a Buchanan and would never duck into a sub shop, much less choke to death in a single episode. Especially on a Wednesday. Nobody dies on a Wednesday--hadn’t these people learned anything?
I then took to wheeling in a big color television so that we might spend an hour watching One Life to Live. This was back when Victoria Buchanan passed out at her twentieth high-school reunion and came to remembering that rather than graduating with the rest of her class, she had instead hitchhiked to New York City, where she’d coupled with a hippie and given birth to a long-lost daughter. It sounds far-fetched, but like a roast forsaken in the oven or a rescheduled dental appointment, childbirth is one of those minor details that tends to slip the minds of most soap opera characters. It’s a personality trait you’ve just got to accept.
On General Hospital or Guiding Light a similar story might come off as trite or even laughable. This, though, was One Life to Live, and no one could suddenly recall the birth of a child quite like Erika Slezak, who played both Victoria Buchanan and her alternate personality, Nicole Smith…
The students were to watch an episode and write what I referred to as a “guessay,” a brief prediction of what might take place the following day.
“Remember that this is not Port Charles or Pine Valley,” I said. “This is Llanview, Pennsylvania, and we’re talking about the Buchanan family.”
It actually wasn’t a bad little assignment. While the dialogue occasionally falters, you have to admire daytime dramas for their remarkable attention to plot. Yes, there were always the predictable kidnappings and summer love triangles, but a good show could always surprise you with something as simple as the discovery of an underground city…
I thought I’d effectively conveyed the seriousness of the assignment. I thought that in my own way I had actually taught them something, so I was angry when their papers included such predictions as “the long-lost daughter turns out to be a vampire” and “the next day Vicki chokes to death while eating a submarine sandwich,” The vampire business smacked of Dark Shadows reruns, and I refused to take it seriously. But choking to death on a sandwich, that was an insult. Victoria was a Buchanan and would never duck into a sub shop, much less choke to death in a single episode. Especially on a Wednesday. Nobody dies on a Wednesday--hadn’t these people learned anything?
posted by Jill at 9:18 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home