From the Egyptian Gazette Crossword Puzzle

Jane and I read this on the plane, while suffering from delirium brought on by lack of sleep, and couldn't stop laughing.

ACROSS

5. Gnome turned and escorted to departure.
15. Wader rescued from water gently returned.
18. Haven offering nothing in the circumstances.
20. Poor start by lad confused at first.
23. Mean to have job in Billingsgate--only one left.
25. Drink gives urge to go mad.
26. Learner in chemistry’s so-so--resolves to like teacher.

DOWN

3. Drunken sot collected by man in white coat.
4. Eager male chasing rodent.
8. Minor champ gets to run around a little.
14. Opera makes room for experimenting with love motif that’s timeless.
21. Snacks upset Roy’s gut.